May 23, 2024
Mainers Prefer Dunkin

Mainers Prefer Dunkin' to Espresso

BRUNSWICK, Maine — A recent collaborative study between Bowdoin College’s Economics Research Division and the University of Maine’s Department of Speech Language Pathology has uncovered the real reason behind Mainers’ preference for Dunkin’ coffee: they simply can’t pronounce ‘espresso.’

The study, which surveyed a diverse sample of Maine residents, aimed to explore the state’s undying loyalty to the beloved coffee chain. Researchers were shocked to discover that the preference for Dunkin’ coffee was rooted not in taste or convenience, but in the linguistic challenge posed by the word ‘espresso.’

“We were baffled by the results at first,” explained Dr. Stephanie Chen, lead researcher from Bowdoin College. “It seems that the pronunciation of ‘espresso’ has been a barrier for many Mainers, leading them to choose the more familiar Dunkin’ brew.”

Participants in the study reported a variety of mispronunciations of ‘espresso,’ including “expresso,” “ex-presso,” and “spresso.” The researchers noted that many of these individuals were otherwise well-spoken and articulate but stumbled when faced with the elusive beverage.

Dr. Paul Martin, a professor of speech language pathology at the University of Maine, weighed in on the findings. “Mainers have a unique dialect and speech pattern, which may contribute to the difficulty in pronouncing ‘espresso,'” he explained. “However, our research suggests that this linguistic challenge has had a significant impact on coffee preferences in the state. It’s the same logic behind most Maine residents’ preference for ‘ham’ over ‘capicola’, which nobody outside of New Jersey show knows how to pronounce.”

In response to the study, Dunkin’ has announced plans to capitalize on the findings by launching a new marketing campaign in Maine, which will focus on the simplicity and ease of ordering their coffee. Slogans such as “Why stress over ‘espresso’ when you can just say Dunkin’?” and “Dunks: we’ve got the coffee you can pronounce” are expected to roll out in the coming weeks.

Meanwhile, local baristas at independent coffee shops across the state are gearing up for “Espresso Pronunciation Workshops,” aiming to bridge the linguistic gap and win over potential customers.

As the coffee industry in Maine grapples with this unexpected revelation, one thing is for certain: Mainers will continue to debate the merits of their favorite brew, whether they can pronounce it or not.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *